The SBP Archives - Your less than frequent dose of SBP!

When you think of the lengths people will go to make a buck, I came across what perhaps is the most disgusting “product” you can purchase online, and it makes me wonder how low the human race is sinking.

“Celebrity Skins and Bodily Fluid”, a company based out of California, is now selling vials of Mike Tyson’s crap for $31 each. Yup, you heard me right. It even comes complete with certificate of authenticity. Some of you make fun of me for my lightsabers; I can guarantee you, however, that I will not be purchasing Yoda’s urine.

A questions that comes to mind is how exactly are these "samples" obtained and can be verified as authentic? The website states: We obtain the vast majority of our specimens from an extensive network of trustworthy suppliers...on occasion we purchase quality specimens from private sellers (this tells me the celebrities may not know about it). All our specimens are tested by experienced body-fluid identification technicians at the Allamas Biological Research Facility in Greeley Colorado and cross-referenced hospital birth records and blood analysis from the Red Cross. As a last resort, we will attempt to verify our specimens by comparing our test results to various body-fluid tests conducted during periods of the individual’s incarceration, if available. Each specimen comes with a certificate of authenticity. We ensure our customers will receive a quality product.

You can also buy skin cells and bacteria of certain celebrities. Some names you may be familiar with include Robin Williams, Tom Green (whose fecal matter is reported to be "out of stock"), Jack Black and Sarah Jessica Parker. If you’re a star and really want to know if you made it in this world, any idiot that will pay for your sh*t must mean you’ve done something right, or at least your name was splashed all over the media enough for the public to know who you are.

I am all but certain I’ll be the one having to pay someone to take home my feces.

(You might notice no photo was included in this blog entry. That was for your benefit).